Tag archives: humor
The first place to look for treasure is within yourself. Don’t dismiss me as some kind of inspirational motivator if I start blathering about your internal riches. It’s a simple fact that unused, unexploited, almost unknown resources lie inside every one of us. Sometimes it takes a crisis or catastrophe to reveal our hidden strengths. […]
I know that many people are now touting that 70 is the new 60 and 40 is the new 30. Does that mean that 10 is the new fetus? They also say that telecommuting is the new work standard. Does that mean we should all get water coolers with life-size computer screens so we can […]
I’ve long been aware that a potholder I use very frequently was provided, many years ago, free of charge, by a popular local politician, in connection with one of his campaigns for Congress. I couldn’t help being aware of this, since his name, with a brief political message, is emblazoned very prominently on it. He’s […]
You never know what huge, unusual things you might see when you go to a new beach (that’s new, not nude). “Wow! Looks like that ship sank just before it got to the pier!” We were in Aptos. That’s not a stunned condition, it’s a small beach community just south of Santa Cruz. We were […]
Of all the commands which our electronic devices miraculously, unquestioningly, and instantaneously obey, none seems more wonderful to me than the single word “send.” Wrapped up in that word are my strict instructions to deliver to whomever I specify, this cargo of words and images. Transmissions of this kind have already been around so long […]
When newspapers regularly carried a page reporting the latest births, marriages, and deaths, they were sometimes jokingly referred to as the “hatches, matches, and dispatches.” But that’s how it is, in many aspects of our lives. Things and people pass through our awareness, almost as if each one of us were a train station or […]
Surely it can’t be merely coincidence that, in our language, “taste” has two separate meanings which however are somehow in sync with each other. One kind of taste relates to the tongue and the palate. The other, on an entirely different level, has to do with culture, esthetics, and educated appreciation. But they are both […]
Lately, technology irritates me. It’s not just because I can’t remember all (or any) of my 1,200 passwords. “It’s getting late dear, maybe you should call it a night.” “Nope. Technology is not beating me again.” I typed in zzzzzzz9999999 and waited. The password window hesitated and then… it shook from side to side indicating […]
Several years ago, when I was on icy, unfamiliar ground (if you must know, it happened in Upstate New York, in the hills, near a resort called Mohonk, where I’d just given a speech about my work) I slipped and fell, breaking my right shoulder. One result was that, although I recovered pretty well, I’m […]
Since usually we each have only one head, it’s amazing how many different types of headgear there are, for such purposes as protection, decoration, and identification. It’s also remarkable how much you can tell about a person, in terms, for example, of their occupation, status, gender, even their beliefs. One hat I remember was on […]
Recently, when writing elsewhere about some apparently endless troubles, I concluded with the words “How long, O Lord, how long?” I didn’t realize, until somebody informed me, that I was quoting the Bible, where that expression appears several times. I only remembered it from the last line of George Bernard Shaw’s play Saint Joan (first […]
“Holy ice cubes, Batman,” I said, as a breeze wafted its way up my shorts. “Fifty-seven degrees?” my wife said. “It was in the 70s when we left Oakland Hills.” “Guess it’s like Mark Twain said: ‘The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.’” “Experts claim that Mark Twain never actually […]
When I was six years old, I received a consolation prize of 25 cents for not knowing the answer on a Toronto radio station kids’ program called “Snappy Answers.” But only twice in my life since then have I ever won anything substantial – and the first time was pure luck. In the early days […]
The Library of Congress categorizes all published books which are submitted for registration, according to their contents. When my first book, I May Not Be Totally Perfect, but Parts of Me Are Excellent, was published, I had no idea how they would classify it. I had thought I was writing a new kind of one-line […]
There are good things to be said about pain, along the consoling lines that it’s an important message, telling us that something needs attention. But we know that’s all rubbish. Any decently designed body wouldn’t need such attention or would at least have more acceptable methods of communicating with its manager. Besides, many of the […]
As far as believing goes, it’s hard to know what to call myself. I don’t have enough faith to be an Atheist, or even an Agnostic. But, to some extent, I admire and envy people who do have strong beliefs — so long as they don’t try to impose them on other people. But there’s […]
Throughout the long trials of COVID-19, one of the main things that has linked humans together and always improves a situation, no matter how dire, is humor. Chances are you have been in a tense situation almost overflowing with anxiety when one person makes a joke or self-deprecating comment that instantly lessens anxiety and makes […]
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner,Eating a Christmas pie;He put in his thumb,And pulled out a plum,And said, “What a good boy am I!” Your childhood probably included this “nursery rhyme.” But it provokes many questions: If Jack Horner really was a “good boy,” why was he sitting in a corner, which even today […]
A man named Joyce Kilmer managed to publish five books and have five children before being killed in World War I. But he is remembered only for one imperishable poem, called “Trees,” which concludes with the modest words: “Poems are made by fools like me,But only God can make a tree.” True enough, I suppose, […]
Until my early 30s, I had never smoked anything. In fact, the practice of smoking appalled me. Sometimes I’d be with a group of friends, and they would start smoking a cigarette of some kind, which they passed from hand to hand. They would invite me to join in, but I made it plain that […]
