Tag archives: humor
We’ve all heard the expression “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” – and, if pressed for an origin, we’d probably say “it’s something out of the Bible.” But, as far as I can determine, those exact words don’t occur in any accepted version of the Bible. What we do find, in […]
Most of us are familiar with the term “The Rat Race,” and we probably have an idea that it derives from scientific experiments in which rats were, and possibly still are, raced against each other, especially in mazes. What was it all about? What was it meant to prove? Whatever the answers, some things are […]
(Read more humorous adventures in Ernie’s travel book: “Where are Pat and Ernie Now?” available at Chaucer’s.) I’m always suspicious of someone trying to sell me something. Which is odd because I used to be in retail. “I’m not sure I need the latest Kodak Instamatic 60.” “Comes with a free flash cube.” “I’ll take […]
An old Chinese adage says, “A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step” – to which I have added my own piece of wisdom: “So, to save 1,000 miles, don’t take that step.” For some reason, humans and birds are the principal creatures which walk on two legs – I have been privileged […]
Until some time in the recent past, the term “Software,” if it was used at all, probably referred to linens and drapes and other such “soft” merchandise, as opposed to the tools, building-materials, etc., which you would find in the “Hardware” section of a department store. But the Computer Era changed all that. It started […]
I’ve learned a few things over the years traveling with my wife. For one thing, she never packs enough socks. “Are those my Wednesday socks? I packed a pair for each day and now I’ll be a pair short!” “We got married in California. It’s a community state. Your socks are my socks.” “Oh yeah, […]
Apart from the so-called “Golden Rule,” no law or commandment compels us to be “good Samaritans,” and help other people. In fact, there seems to be a general prejudice against unabashed “do-gooders.” In most cultures, the idea seems to prevail that things in general should be left as they are. The Brits say, “Leave well […]
I’ve spent a good part of my life in a fog. In my brief stint as a Hippie, the fog was often associated with the inhalation of marijuana or as we referred to it then – grass. Sometimes I think it actually was grass we purchased. “Is that a dandelion?” “Might be. You feel anything […]
The United Nations Charter of Human Rights guarantees everyone a nationality – whether they want one or not. In “HMS Pinafore” (Gilbert & Sullivan) the Chorus sings the praises of being English: “For he might have been a Rooshan A French or Turk or Prooshan, Or perhaps Eye-tal-eye-an – But, in spite of all temptations […]
Turn right,” Jeeves, our Garmin GPS told us. Right would have taken us over the cliff. “Jeeves is lost,” I said. “Swell,” Pat, who was driving, said. We were trying to get back to the tiny Tuscan village of Castiglione d’Orcia where we were renting an Airbnb just inside the Porta, the entrance into the […]
How can anybody own anything? The most popular methods are: by Law, by Custom, or by Force. And often they’re combined. But we all know that, ultimately, none of this makes any real sense, and that, in the broadest perspective, nobody can ever own anything. Take our bodies, for example – and surely that must […]
Cold?” Jackie pointed at the overhead heaters in the solarium ceiling on the back of the Alaskan ferry, Columbia. “With those things on the other night I felt like a French fry.” We had met Jackie earlier at breakfast. It was so crowded we had to sit at the counter. A young construction guy beside […]
It’s a pleasant thought – being comfortable. The English make it even more pleasant by calling it “comfy.” On the Monty Python comedy show, in which much of the humor came from standing ideas on their heads – an old lady is threatened by the Spanish Inquisition with the torture of being forced to sit […]
Continuing the Ten Best Gifts Anybody Ever Gave Me: #6. AIRMAIL-EGGS In 1946, my family returned from an America, which, despite the war, had remained a land of abundance, to an England where “Austerity” prevailed for years after the war. One food in very short supply was fresh eggs. Our relatives in Canada knew about […]
I was watching an extremely large man from one of the five (yes, five) cruise ships that were in port in Juneau, Alaska. The man was having trouble fitting through the door on a floatplane and two young workers were using their shoulders to gently aid his boarding. The man was wearing black shorts that […]
A friend suggested that I should give you a list of my “Top Ten” – but he left it to me to choose a category. I think he had in mind something like movies or songs. But I’ve decided to tell you about the Ten Best Gifts I ever received. In each case the gift […]
Some time back, I told you about the Mohs method for dealing with certain skin cancers, which I once had performed, very successfully, on my right hand. But more recently I had to cope with another such malignancy in a much more prominent area. Not to beat about the bush, we are talking about the […]
As far as I know, there is no such thing as impatient dreaming. Sleep takes as long as it takes, and, when you wake, you have to consult your timepiece to be sure how long you’ve been away in that strange other world. But in this waking, conscious world which (for want of a better […]
When I first emigrated to America, from a Europe which was still recovering from World War II, one of my earliest impressions was that the whole society seemed to be built on the principle of wastefulness. I said to myself, “In this country, I could live on what people throw away.” For better or worse, […]
“Nice bracelet,” Pat said to the Native bus driver. “My cousin made it. For my moiety. I am an eagle. My wife is a raven.” “My wife is a Sheppard,” I said. “Sometimes that makes me feel sheepish.” He did not laugh. Neither did my wife. Or anyone else on the bus. He went on […]
