Tag archives: Ernie Witham
I’ve always wanted to be taller – I still remember getting measured for my high school graduation robe. “Five feet, eleven and three-quarters inch,” the gown guy yelled out to the gown sizing note taker. “Come on,” I said. “Put me down for six feet, willya?” But no. Gown measuring administrators take their measurements seriously. […]
Bonsai pot, that is. I gave up the other kind of pot when my last lava lamp died. “Dude, Check it out. I think it’s just as groovy when it doesn’t do anything.” “Righteous.” I sold all my bongs at a yard sale. “Excuse me, did you use reverse osmosis water in this one or […]
I was staring blankly at a shelf in the garage. I’d been on a quest for something when I left the house some 15 steps earlier, but my mind stopped working at about step 12. I moved some boxes around for inspiration. That’s when I found the Monopoly game. It was an early edition. Still […]
I know that many people are now touting that 70 is the new 60 and 40 is the new 30. Does that mean that 10 is the new fetus? They also say that telecommuting is the new work standard. Does that mean we should all get water coolers with life-size computer screens so we can […]
You never know what huge, unusual things you might see when you go to a new beach (that’s new, not nude). “Wow! Looks like that ship sank just before it got to the pier!” We were in Aptos. That’s not a stunned condition, it’s a small beach community just south of Santa Cruz. We were […]
Lately, technology irritates me. It’s not just because I can’t remember all (or any) of my 1,200 passwords. “It’s getting late dear, maybe you should call it a night.” “Nope. Technology is not beating me again.” I typed in zzzzzzz9999999 and waited. The password window hesitated and then… it shook from side to side indicating […]
Famed western Bonsai master Ernie Witham sent us the following: The Bonsai Club of Santa Barbara will hold its annual show, sale, and demonstrations Saturday and Sunday, May 19-20, in the Fellowship Hall at Trinity Lutheran Church, 909 La Cumbre Road at the corner of Foothill Road. Admission is free and open to all who […]
“Have you seen my glasses?” “Unbelievable. You’re always losing them!” It’s true. I have three pair and some days I can’t find any of them. “Here they are,” Pat said, returning from the back patio. “Those are my reading glasses. I need my distance glasses if I have to go… I mean, because I want […]
