When you feel depressed, you may despair that your situation will never get better. Rather than telling yourself how terrible you feel or how hopeless your life is and finding escapes such as food, internet surfing, television, or alcohol, remember that challenges are a normal part of life, and that there is something you can […]
As a marriage and family therapist for more than 40 years, I’ve seen a lot of couples. Over and over, the demise of marriages and relationships in general, is not over money, children, or health but crummy communication styles. We were not taught in school or at home about how to communicate, so we resort […]
Bridge over troubled waters. A bridge too far. Golden Gate Bridge. Bridge over River Kwai. London Bridge. Building bridges. Burning your bridges. Water under the bridge. We’ll cross that bridge later. Bridge-to-nowhere. There are many kinds of bridges. A bridge offers you safe passage over an obstacle. I usually discuss the three bridges as they […]
In approaching resolutions, it’s beneficial to step back and reflect on what you’ve learned and accomplished during the previous year. Be sure to keep looking until you come up with something you are proud of. With that in mind, it’s easier to set some goals for the coming year. The idea is to shift your […]
Backsliding comes with almost every new habit you’re trying to ingrain. I call it the “dwindle effect” because your initial desire to change an old habit wanes. It’s easy to lose sight of good intentions. It’s common to rebel against the effort the new action requires, forgetting why you wanted to change in the first […]
Almost everyone procrastinates. We usually do it to avoid a task that’s unpleasant or daunting. Some things are broad and require lots of time and effort, and may involve changing long-held behaviors or beliefs. Others are very specific one-time jobs. When procrastinating starts to interfere with our quality of life by causing us to feel […]
According to Attitude Reconstruction there are only four rules of good communication and four opposing violations. Being aware of both gives us a choice about whether we want to create distance or connection with our words, whether we’re dealing with friend, foe, neighbor, or family member. Here are some examples of two ways of communicating […]