Remembering Erin. My Friend Is Gone

It’s painful to think, to imagine, to realize, that I’ll never experience the joy of being with Erin Graffy de Garcia ever again. She passed away – surrounded by family – at Cottage Hospital at 2:54 am on January 21 after a frighteningly short bout with cancer. To say that she’ll be missed is a misnomer. Of course she’ll be missed. By anyone and everyone who ever met her. Whether it was her mischievous smile and blinking eyes or wagging finger and pouty lips feigning sorrow at some misdeed, she was a joy to be around.

I’ll miss our movie nights, dinners at Crocodile in our special booth, Opera cruises and Hawaiian nights on board (and with) Hiroko Benko’s Condor Express. I’ll miss too the Profant family’s Fiesta Finales where both Erin and her husband dressed to the nines, and where they’d always be the last couple on the dance floor. I’ll miss our telephone repartée: “Graffy, Buckley here.” “Oh,” she’d laugh, “Buckley huh? I’ll have my people get in touch with your people.”

Erin always stressed that her full name was Erin Graffy de Garcia, and that though her professional name was Erin Graffy, her life was entwined with that of her husband, Jim Garcia, a veteran (now retired) Santa Barbara School District psychologist. They had been married since August 25, 1990; it was a first and only marriage for both. They were partners in life, though Jim couldn’t have thought he’d be taking care of Erin as she passed away, much as he had done for Erin’s mom, Jeanne Graffy, some years before.

My favorite memory of Erin is her sliding coyishly away from a lecherous Peter Clark as he canoodled her with Frank Loesser’s devilish “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” on piano during a Christmas party at our house on Middle Road.

Mr. Loesser wrote the song for his wife, Lynn Garland, for a party at their home, and for a while the couple kept it in their own repertoire and no one else’s before releasing it to the public.

The song might as well have been written for Erin and the late Peter Clark (a playful pianist par excellence who also possessed a pair of dulcet pipes). Together they were as good as anyone on any stage or in any film. Their duet was sensational.

Erin begins coquettishly: “I really can’t stay…” as the two of them sit close to each other on the piano bench, she sidles away… Peter seductively responds: “Baby, it’s cold outside,” and moves ever so slightly close to her again. Erin wide-eyed: “I’ve got to go away.” Peter confidently: “Baby, it’s cold outside.” Later, she asks suspiciously, “Say, what’s in this drink?”

I wish I’d had a camera.

Erin wasn’t just an historian; she was also a lecturer, a Montecito Journal columnist for nearly two decades, and, perhaps most importantly, a singer, and dancer. She and Jim were consummate ballroom dancers, and Erin was part of a small gathering of local women (including Leslie Ridley-Tree) who’d meet regularly in a Pierre Claeyssens-inspired singing group.

Jim Garcia was more than just a school psychologist – he was (and still is) an accomplished musician whose specialty is medieval and Renaissance music and instruments.Jimplays woodwinds, clarinet, flute, saxophone, guitar, banjo, ukulele, and mandolin and other instruments. He’ll only use an authentic period musical instrument, such as a lute, for his medieval and Renaissance gigs. He jokes that when asked, “Do you play Bach?” he answers, “Oh no, we don’t play any of that modern stuff.”

Erin was a woman with a thousand faces, all of them intriguing and all with a dash of humor and a soupÇon of menace. After graduating from Pepperdine, she enrolled in Occidental and began studying conducting and orchestration, but she suffered a near-fatal car accident resulting in short-term neurological difficulties serious enough to have dashed her dream of pursuing a singing and dancing career. She switched to a marketing and communications degree. Erin’s love of musicals, however, whether high school, college, amateur, semi-professional, or Broadway, never dimmed.

Erin loved (and seemed to know) everything about Santa Barbara. She wrote two books (in addition to half-a-dozen historical tomes) for newbies who’d just arrived in town and were looking for ways to become part of this peculiar culture: “Society Lady’s Guide on How to Santa Barbara,” and a sequel, “The Advanced Course” are two of her most popular books. Both are out of print but if you’re interested, you will find a used copy of “The Advanced Course” for sale at $87.94 on Amazon.

Jim Garcia says a remembrance for Erin will take place near the end of February.