Fear: What Are We so Afraid of?

Before I became a mother, I had some pretty run-of-the-mill, irrational fears; snakes, heights, and flying cockroaches, to be exact. Well, not really heights, per se, but falling from great heights was a big concern. And did I mention the snakes?

Many years later, when we had our first child, these irrational stressors I had previously experienced miraculously disappeared. It wasn’t that I was now somehow fearless, it was just that one cluster of irrational fears were replaced by a ginormous one that my psyche now interpreted as A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER: protecting my newborn son. Who had time to worry about lions and tigers and bears? I had this fragile little creature to protect from the big bad world. There were germs, sharp objects, undiscovered allergies, hydrogenated oils, dirty sandboxes, processed meats, large purple dinosaurs, and kidnappers. (To be fair, I grew up in the 1970s when we were told every white van was certainly owned by one.)

With Hallow’s Eve and a Presidential election rapidly approaching, I started to consider the many ways we experience fear.

But first, some clarification. What is the difference between a fear, a phobia and anxiety? While anxiety and fear can feel similar, according to Psychology Today, “Anxiety does not necessarily require a triggering stimulus.” In the simplest of explanations, what that means is that fear is a reaction to a perceived threat. For example, while walking to your car down an empty street late at night you hear footsteps behind you. Scary right? That’s fear. Anxiety’s version would be anticipating walking to your car after dinner and worrying about the possibility you might be followed, or the potential dangers involved in just walking down a street by yourself. A phobia, on the other hand – that is a whole different cauldron of snakes. 

According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, “A phobia is an uncontrollable, irrational, and persistent fear of a specific object, situation, or activity.” Phobias are anxiety disorders that are no laughing matter. Almost 20 million Americans experience phobias, and the effects can be crippling; ranging from panic attacks to complete avoidance of the feared object by not ever leaving the house.

But what about the rest of us who don’t have phobias or anxiety, necessarily, but walk around each day experiencing fear without even realizing it?

Fear can be a positive influence on our behavior, in the same way that growing up in poverty can be a driving factor for some people’s financial success later in life. But, though an upbringing characterized by fear can foster our later survival instincts by reminding us to be careful, it can also cause us to make irrational choices. According to Northwestern Medicine Journal, “When the amygdala senses fear, the cerebral cortex (area of the brain that harnesses reasoning and judgment) becomes impaired.”

Fear of change is a big challenge that many experience; one of the numerous factors behind the vitriolic discourse we are frequently exposed to during an election cycle. 

People are accustomed to their beliefs, their norms. They don’t want their routine shaken up. We grow up believing a set of truths, and when those are challenged it can feel threatening. It creates a sense of US vs. The Other. We are US and THEY are well, different. This fear can cause us to make irrational or often nonsensical decisions. The fear clouds our judgement.

Always having been a scaredy-cat myself, I have never gravitated toward haunted houses, escape rooms, horror film, or anything involving a jump scare. Strangely though, a few years ago I accidentally discovered my love of the suspense thriller. While on vacation, I stumbled upon one of those fabulous “take a book, leave a book” kiosks at an inn where we were staying. In A Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware popped out at me. After reading just one page I was in! Nine books later I am still hooked. I will often read her novels in just a few days, manically tearing through pages to find out who did it, who is the killer trapped – in the cabin/house/boat/whatever – with our apparent hero? I love the thrill of it all and the genius with which she lays out her maze-like plot. That is the closest thing I get to seeking out fear. She creates a sense of jeopardy that pulls me in and holds me until the last page. However, is that really fear, or is
that  excitement?

But horror movies? Pass. The Sadistic Dentist Escape Room? Not happening. I have enough fear every time my teens leave the house. Ok, maybe that is more like anxiety, but you get the point. Still, I wondered, why do so many seek
this out?

The UCSB publication Bottom Line (“The Science of Fear” by Hannah Maerowitz) summed it up best: “Far from being exclusively negative, fear can be exciting, novel, part of a growing experience, or even have a pleasant aftermath. Halloween may bring something we all fear – fear itself – to the forefront, and allow us to experience it in new and more enjoyable ways.”

Happy Halloween!