In the Thirty Mile Zone

Harvey Levin, who founded the celebrity news program TMZ in 2005, interviewed yours truly from his L.A. outpost via Zoom with a seven-man crew. Harvey is doing a documentary on Oscar winner Kevin Costner and his acrimonious divorce from wife Christine Baumgartner.

Having written for this illustrious organ for 16 years, I was asked for my insights on our rarefied enclave and its 10,000 residents, many of them world famous as TV and movie stars, tech titans, and billionaires.

A Sweaty 66th

Former TV talk show host Ellen DeGeneres rang in her 66th birthday with an intense sweat session at a local gym, a moment caught on Instagram by her actress wife Portia de Rossi.

“My darling wife! You continue to amaze me,” Rossi, 50, gushed. “Happy Birthday to the most brilliant person I know.

“I’m so lucky to be standing next to you as we share this incredible life together. I love you!”

The video begins with the Montecito resident flexing her muscles with dumbbells, shoulder presses, and then doing single-handed overhead presses, pull-ups and even pushing a training sled.”

You go, girl…

Local Mom Gives Relationship Advice

Montecito actress Gwyneth Paltrow has unveiled an extremely racy Goop Valentine’s Day gift guide complete with a $1,250 gold vibrator, $250 handcuffs, and $55 “sex oils.”

The Oscar winner, 51, has become increasingly extroverted since she first launched her lifestyle brand Goop in 2008 – spilling intimate details about her bedroom endeavors, making a slew of “bare it all” confessions, and promoting numerous X-rated presents through the website over the years.

So no surprise the Iron Man star has included five separate vibrators, numerous sex toys, and various other risqué items to spice up your love life, including a chocolate aphrodisiac, and an organ balm “designed to heighten” sexuality.

Most expensive of the sex gadgets is the Kiki de Montparnasse gold wand, priced at a hefty $1,249 and described as being “wrapped in 24kt. gold.”

Change in Plans

TV sports commentator Troy Aikman, former quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys from 1989 to 2000, left his schedule open last month assuming his former NFL team would be playing in the NFC title game; a contest he didn’t want to miss.  

But Montecito resident Aikman, who has a reported $90 million five-year contract with ESPN, says he was “pretty shocked” when the Cowboys lost to the Green Bay Packers (48-32) at home in the playoffs.

“I figured Dallas would be playing in the championship game,” says Aikman, 57. “I figured it would be in San Francisco. So I was planning on going to the game. I didn’t book a vacation.

“I thought the Cowboys would separate themselves in the second half, but it didn’t happen!”

Letting Loose for ‘Footloose’

Montecito actor Rob Lowe has revealed his audition for the film Footloose ended in disaster after an ill-executed knee slide left him needing a stretcher.

The iconic 1984 film saw Kevin Bacon shoot to worldwide fame as dancing teen Ren McCormack, but Rob, 59, has detailed his own botched audition for the movie during a chat on Bacon’s podcast, Six Degrees with Kevin Bacon.

“It’s a dance audition apparently,” said Rob. “Dance. By the way it was to a Styx song of all things. And the end of the dance was a knee slide across the floor.

“And I hit my knees and slid across the floor into a lineup of Sherry Lansing (head of Paramount Pictures), Dean Pitchford (screenwriter), and Craig Zadan (producer). And my knee explodes. Explodes! Pop. And they take me out of the soundstage on a stretcher.”

Sightings

Kevin Costner in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, at the Joy Awards… Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in Kingston, Jamaica, for a film premiere on the late singer Bob Marley… Katy Perry and Oprah Winfrey at Amazon tycoon Jeff Bezos’ 60th birthday bash at his sprawling Beverly Hills mansion formerly owned by film mogul Jack Warner.

Pip! Pip!