Only Kidding

One of the songs I learned at some campfire gathering seemed to me to have profound significance – but I’m still not sure what it was. It’s about “Bill Grogan’s Goat” who, when “feeling fine, ate three red shirts, right off the line.” Bill Grogan was so outraged at this that he not only gave the goat a whack, but “tied him to a railroad track.” 

What did the goat do in this desperate situation of fear and pain? – He “coughed up the shirts – and flagged the train.”

Even in those presumably early days of the Railroad Era, a red flag was recognized as a signal to stop. (Red is the color most clearly seen from a distance.)

But goats have, since long before that, been featured in song and story. Even in the early part of the Old Testament, we have the tale of two goats, one of whom was sacrificed, and the other let loose to wander the desert. This second goat was allowed to escape, with the idea that he carried with him all the people’s sins and would thereby be punished in their stead. You may or may not know that this “escape goat” was the origin of our word and concept of a “scapegoat” – meaning a person or group unwillingly blamed for something bad which is not really, or at least not entirely, their fault. Adolf Hitler was one of the more recent exploiters of this practice, his own favorite target being the Jews, whom he blamed (among other national grievances) for Germany’s defeat in World War I, and acceptance of the shameful surrender terms as embodied in the Versailles Treaty of 1919.

I’m sorry to say that, after all these centuries, not only are goats (among many other animals) still being ritually sacrificed, but I myself, purely as a tourist, have been a witness to one of these ceremonies. It was in southern Nepal, some distance out of Kathmandu. And my lingering impression was of crowds of Hindu worshippers gathered on a mountain top, and little goats being brought, one at a time, to have their throats slit.

Happily, in other countries, such as ours, goats are raised like cows, to provide various products including goat milk and goat cheese. These are claimed to have nutritional benefits, particularly for people who are “lactose intolerant.” And, of course, for non-vegetarians, there is the actual meat – against which there seem to be no cultural or religious taboos.

We must also give the Goat credit for serving in various ways as a fashion statement, especially for men. Traditionally, the term “goatee” has referred only to a tuft of hair on the chin, as on the chin of a goat. In that connection, we would think immediately of “Uncle Sam” as he’s usually portrayed. More recently, however, the word has become an “umbrella term,” used to refer to any facial hair style incorporating hair on the chin but not the cheeks.

It was only in the 18^th century that people began calling female goats Nanny, and only about 100 years later that the name Billy was bestowed on males. But the term Kid was applied to young goats long before it was used for young people. And their soft smooth skin, utilized as leather, has long been known as “kid,” as in “kid gloves.” And those more expensive kinds of gloves are associated with wealth and refinement – but also with special care – so that “to handle with kid gloves” now broadly means to treat with special care.

“Kid” can also be a term of endearment – and in the early 20^th Century, the term “Oh You Kid!” which appeared in several popular songs, became a widespread catchphrase, with a slightly suggestive meaning, as in “I Love My Wife – But Oh You Kid!”

But there were other usages, sometimes implying notoriety, as with that widely feared outlaw, Billy the Kid – who is said to have killed 21 men in what was still the “Wild West” of New Mexico and Arizona, before he himself was killed in 1881 at the age of 21. On a lighter note, Danny Kaye starred in a 1946 musical comedy about boxing called The Kid from Brooklyn.

And we must not leave the subject of goats without mentioning the almost incredible ability some members of that species have –the Alpine Ibex, for example – to climb almost vertical cliffs. No wonder anyone faced with some challenging but annoying situation might exclaim that “It Gets My Goat!”