The Power of Quiet: Why Silence Really Is Golden

Last week, my daughter and I both had tests to study for, so I suggested we go downtown to the library, a place that holds many fond memories for us both. Years ago, they had an incredible program where young children could sit with therapy dogs and their companions and read together. It was transformative for my kids and became a weekly tradition we all looked forward to. 

We were excited to see the library after so many years of construction. Both of us had popped in now and then to check out books, but neither of us had really spent any quality time there in years. I walked in filled with anticipation and a sense of longing I hadn’t realized was even there. After a bit of exploring we climbed to the top level, which we had been told would be the quietest space. That should have been the first red flag. Why wouldn’t the entire library be quiet? 

As we unpacked our many study props (laptop, notebooks, textbooks, highlighters and glasses… okay, to be fair, she just unpacked her laptop), I started noticing ambient sounds I wouldn’t normally associate with a library. One man was rustling through a paper bag. Another was chatting away like it was a dinner party. And someone was on their cellphone. Did I mention this was in the library? I locked eyes with my daughter, and she said, “Mom, don’t.” I pretended to be ignorant of what her words were implying and made my way to the staff counter. 

“Is cell phone use allowed here?” I asked politely. 

“Yes, as long as they aren’t bothering anyone.” She replied. 

“They are on the cell phone. At the library. Of course they are going to bother someone.”

“Well, we are trying to make the environment as flexible and as inclusive as possible,” She chirped.

“So, like a Starbuck’s?” I answered. Admittedly, it wasn’t my best moment.

But come on. There is an eating area, and cell phones are allowed, and nobody puts their finger to their pursed lips shaming you into quietude. For those of us who need, revel in, and thrive on silence, the library has always been a secret haven. To say I am noise sensitive would be like calling Roman Abramovich well-off, and I have always known that if my circumstances drastically changed and I ended up in prison, I would deliberately get myself thrown into solitary confinement. 

I have just started reading Golden: The Power of Silence in a World of Noise by Justin Zorn and Leigh Marz. Upon the writing of this piece, I am only halfway through it but can already see how they deftly navigate the power of quiet in a way that takes mindfulness to a whole new level. It is neuroscience, spirituality, psychology, and so much more. Anyone who has tried to meditate knows how the silence of even a few minutes can seem like an eternity. That is because we are no longer comfortable in true quiet. Our brains are constantly being bombarded by phones pinging, TV commercials at the gas station, even doctors’ waiting rooms are apparently too challenging to endure without a television blaring. 

As always, I needed to know. Why does this matter?

According to The Cleveland Clinic, “Silence offers opportunities for self-reflection and daydreaming, which activates multiple parts of the brain. It gives us time to turn down the inner noise and increase awareness of what matters most. And it cultivates mindfulness – recognition and appreciation of the present moment. Silence also has physical benefits. ‘When we’re frazzled, our fight-or-flight response is on overload causing a host of problems,’ says Dr. Daniel Sullivan. ‘We can use calm, quiet moments to tap into a different part of the nervous system that helps shut down our bodies’ physical response to stress.”

So, there are physical benefits to silence as well as emotional. People who meditate can attest to their blood pressure going down, their heart rate lowering, and experiencing more of an overall sense of well-being. 

Calm – the popular meditation app – sites as benefits of silence stress reduction, improvement of mental clarity, emotional regulation, and even increasing your self-awareness. So, if we don’t get this peace, this quiet, this stillness, what can happen? Burnout. 

If we don’t take the time to check in with ourselves, which can often only happen at a meaningful level if we are in a peaceful state, we risk burning our candle at both ends. Then when our stress levels increase, our cortisol production goes up (our stress hormone) which can compromise our immune system. See what I did there? Silence is also golden for our health.

With all of this in mind, the next time someone is watching a video with the sound on-at a restaurant, or talking on speaker while walking in front of you for five miles, or using the cell phone at the library, feel free to invoke my name as a free pass, put your finger to your lips and offer the tried and true tactic of librarians the world over. 

Ssssshhhhhhhhh!