Lilli Margrethe Jensen Tragos August 31, 1934 – November 3, 2024

Lilli Margrethe Jensen Tragos, 90, beloved wife, mother, Mormor/Farmor, sister, and friend, passed away peacefully on November 3, 2024, in Santa Barbara, California.

Lilli lived her life with the deeply held conviction that there is inherent goodness in all people. She shone her unshakable optimism on her family and friends who always felt grateful to be in her company. She was a Danish, no-nonsense, practical woman who spoke her mind directly because addressing the issues meant solving the problems. She was unwaveringly loyal to those in her inner circle, conferring a bond that forgave all trespasses.

Family was everything to Lilli. She loved spending time with her children and grandchildren and always looked forward to holiday reunions, especially her favorite Danish Christmas festivities, but also her adopted Greek Easter celebration (she enjoyed making dozens of red eggs). Her greatest joy was seeing her children together and her deepest wish was for them to love and care for one another. She was genuinely interested in her children’s activities and friends. She had some traditional ways which she demonstrated and imparted to her children: write thank you notes, dress appropriately, volunteer when you can, mind your manners, and value hard work. She was not the type to coddle, but her love was no less profound. She was a beacon of stability, wisdom, and unwavering support to family and friends alike.

Lilli was an avid reader of current events, psychology, and Scandinavian literature and news. She kept up to date on the Danish Royal family. She loved to drive and had a keen sense of direction. She was proud of once again passing her driver’s test and being behind the wheel at 90 years of age.

Lilli was born to Hannibal and Ingeborg Jensen in Randers, Denmark on August 31, 1934. She enjoyed a lovely warm childhood until her world changed when Nazi Germany invaded Denmark in April 1940. She proudly shared that her father was a Danish resistance fighter who organized dangerous nighttime missions to secure explosives and weapons parachuted out of Allied planes. She fondly recalled laughing at the “stupid Nazis” who never noticed that the pretty Danish girls were wearing nylon dresses fashioned out of parachute material.

After the war ended and the Germans left, life slowly got back to normal. In her teens, Lilli excelled at ballet, so much so that her teacher wanted her to audition for the Royal Danish Ballet. Her father called off those plans as he did not want her to move to Copenhagen at such a young age. Lilli’s experience living under occupation inspired her to join the newly formed Danish Civil Defense Corps at age 17, where she learned such skills as handling weapons and treating the wounded. In October 1954, she was inducted into the Danish Women’s Army Corps.

Ultimately, Lilli followed in her father’s footsteps by going into business. She attended Niels Brock commercial college in Copenhagen, worked in publicity at Metro Goldwyn Mayer, studied French at the Sorbonne (commuting to school on her Vespa), took classes at the Copenhagen School of Economics, and worked at the Foreign Ministry with the hope to be sent abroad. In June 1959, at age 24, Lilli left for the United States on a diplomatic passport, to work for Ambassador Hessellund-Jensen at the Danish Mission to the United Nations. She loved working in this vibrant setting, witnessing such historical figures as Khruschev and Nehru, and even meeting the King and Queen of Denmark, Frederik IX and Ingrid, on their visit to New York.

In October 1959, Lilli met Greek American Bill Tragos and his friend when they came to look at the studio apartment she had advertised for sublet in the NY Times. While Bill’s friend took the apartment, Bill was smitten with Lilli when she offered him a cup of coffee. Bill courted her until she agreed to go out with him. After marrying on January 7, 1961, Lilli and Bill embarked on a European adventure, making successive homes in London, Frankfurt, Brussels, and Paris as Bill worked in advertising and launched his agency, TBWA. Lilli enjoyed raising their four children, hosting and attending many client dinners and events, spending time with family in Denmark and Greece, and traveling the world with Bill. In 1974, Lilli took her three daughters to join Greek women who were packaging medical supplies in preparation for the expected war against Turkey. And in 1975, Lilli helped found the Centre Culturel Hellénique in Paris, with the mission to promote Greek culture in France.

In the summer of 1977, Lilli and Bill moved the family from Paris, France, to Greenwich, Connecticut. While juggling the demands of a busy household of four teenagers, and in keeping with her belief in the importance of education, Lilli pursued a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a minor in sociology at Manhattanville College, graduating at the age of 48.

Lilli put her business acumen and education to work volunteering at Utilize Senior Energy, a local agency finding jobs for people 55+, and at VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Administration), helping people with their tax statements; serving as President of the Homeowner’s Association; and starting a stock investment club with friends. On the social front, Lilli played golf and founded a knitting circle, the “Stitch and Bitch” club.

In 2004, with the kids grown and Bill retired, Lilli and Bill moved to Montecito, California, in search of a more temperate climate and proximity to their children. Not one to sit around, Lilli swiftly began making connections, be it participating in activities through the Alliance Française or getting involved with the local Scandinavian community.

Throughout her adult life, Lilli was actively involved in Scandinavian organizations. She volunteered for the Danish Church in Paris, France. She was elected to the Danish American Society in New York City, the largest chapter in the U.S., and eventually became its president. She was proud to host a black-tie party for Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark (now King Frederik X) and thrilled to meet him in person. In 2004, Lilli received the Order of the Dannebrog, a Danish Order of Chivalry recognizing her service to Denmark. After moving to California, she joined the American Scandinavian Foundation of Santa Barbara and served as its vice president. Lilli was happy to have had the chance to visit her home country in August 2024 to celebrate her 90th birthday with her Danish family.

A devoted Dane and “Greek by osmosis,” Lilli was proud to become an American citizen in 1989, thereafter voting in every U.S. election, including in 2024 (voting early). She was thrilled to regain her Danish passport in 2014, when Denmark finally allowed dual citizenship.

Lilli was predeceased by her parents, Hannibal and Ingeborg Jensen and her sister Tinne “Titti” Jensen. She is survived by her husband William “Bill” Tragos of Montecito, California; their four children Christian “Chris” Tragos and wife Tracy of Los Angeles, California; Hélène Stelian and husband Peter of Chicago, Illinois; Katherine “Kat” Tragos and partner Kathleen “Carter” Carter of San Francisco, California; Amalia Stachowiak and husband Doug of Santa Barbara, California; grandchildren Charlotte, Penelope, Bianca, Indigo, Nicholas, Trevor); brother Wisti Jensen of Hummingen, Denmark; niece Sophia Moesgaard of Birkerød, Denmark; and extended Danish family.

A Celebration of Life will be held in Lilli’s honor on Monday, December 23, at 2 pm, at Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Goleta, California.

Donations in memory of Lilli can be made to the American Scandinavian Foundation Santa Barbara Scholarship Fund: www.asfsb.net/support-asfsb