Tears in a Bottle

SR sends me a photo of a pink and blue gold gilded porcelain bottle with an ornate gold stopper and interesting “scoop” or funnel to the top in gilded metal. SR calls it a MOURNING BOTTLE, and says it was a gift of Sir Benjamin Rycroft (1902-1967), a pioneer in corneal surgery, and one of the most influential ophthalmologists of the past century, to his daughter-in-law. SR is a relative of Sir Benjamin, who was responsible for the restoration of sight and repairs to the eyes of hundreds of WWII veterans; he also pioneered organ donation. How fitting that Sir Benjamin would have given his new daughter-in-law a tear-catcher! The theory went that a lady would cry into the funnel held to the nose, save the tears, and when the tears evaporated, mourning was OVER…

Here’s the problem: did this custom exist in the early to mid-19th century, or is it a modern myth developed by “Tear Catcher Gifts” years ago? There is evidence of these little bottles in ancient times, and occasionally they ARE called tear-catchers by museums, or tear jars, or lachrymatories. On display at the Museum of Wigan Life in Leigh, England, a small glass bottle from AD 30 found in Egypt is called a tear jar in their exhibit Ancient Egypt Rediscovered, focusing on life and death rituals. But scholars of European scent and ritual such as Nuri McBride (The Death Scent Project), writes that “Victorian Tear Catchers are TRASH.” She believes they are more likely European rosewater bottles if porcelain (and these often have spouts for pouring the rosewater), or “throwaway” (disposable) glass perfume sample vials if they are long and narrow and English. 

SR’s bottle is NOT glass, and it is too small to be a rosewater bottle. I am, however, skeptical that it was brought out when mourning. I am confused by the bright colors and flashy gilding if it was to be used to catch the tears of an early to mid-19th century mourner; an English lady in mourning in the 19th century wore black matte crepe fabrics with NO SHEEN, and wore only dark muted jewelry such as of jet, bog oak, or vulcanite. A French lady in mourning, if she lost her husband, would wear black, grey, or violet for 18 months, did not raise her voice above a whisper, ate alone, and took few visitors. So I am not sure if SR’s fancy bottle would be acceptable to a lady (or her society) if she were expected to be in deep black mourning.

I have a theory that SR’s bottle is not exactly a mourning bottle but a HOPEFUL bottle, used to catch tears of longing for a distant sweetheart, perhaps at war (plenty of wars were happening in France in the second quarter of the 19th century, whereupon I date this bottle). This would explain the sentimental courting couples pictured and the bright pinks and blues and golds.

In ancient times, notably in the Middle East, tears were hallmarks of care; it is said that the Divine will never let a tear go unnoticed: in David’s prayer (Psalm 56:8), he says “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears into your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” And in fact, we DO read records of tomb discoveries of small bottles said to be for tears, meant to show honor and devotion to the dead. But by the 19th century, even though we do read of these mourning bottles in fiction, we have little evidence, only examples of the MANY porcelain and glass bottles to hold perfumes, smelling salts, floral waters, scented vinegars, “kumkums” (of Middle east exotic florals), or unguentum (for unguents).

Still, this was a gift given by one of the world’s foremost eye doctors. I doubt Sir Benjamin Rycroft would have mixed up sources for such a bottle. And we do find Civil War mentions of wives and sweethearts collecting their tears for the presentation of the same bottle upon a soldier’s return. SR’s bottle appears to be Continental, however. As Nuri McBride, the perfume scholar, writes: maybe these mythic mourning bottles are “just a metaphor for measuring immeasurable loss.” I believe SR’s to be indeed a tear collection bottle, however, because of the provenance. But I would think it to be a tear bottle filled for a soldier fighting far afield, and a ritual to mark the time of longing. This ‘matches’ the sentimentality of the mid-19th century nicely, exhibited as a public performance.