Taking The Rough With The Smooth

This may or may not need explaining, because it seems so intuitively obvious – but there appears to be a universal preference for smoothness, as opposed to roughness.

The first example which jumps to mind is SKIN. Nobody wants to have, see, or feel, a skin with pimples, warts, or any other kind of bumps. Then there are the surfaces on which we travel, whether on land or sea – or, for that matter, even in the air. Both physically and metaphorically, we generally prefer “smooth sailing.”

I remember a long sea journey, which began by crossing the Atlantic from New York, then going through the Straits of Gibraltar into the Mediterranean Sea. There was a wonderful contrast between the turbulence of the ocean and the placidity of the waters once we had passed through the Straits. It inspired me to write a song, which I called, “Atlantic, No! Mediterranean Si!”

On land, of course we all prefer smooth roads to bumpy ones. The Roman roads were famously straight – but not until the nineteenth century did roads begin to be relatively smooth, with the evolution of what Americans call “blacktop,” but which much of the rest of the world still knows as “McAdam,” after a Scottish engineer, John Loudon McAdam, who, about 1820, developed a new improved method of surfacing, and whose name is partly preserved in “Tarmac,” which was made with the addition of tar or asphalt.

In many other areas of work and recreation, a smooth, level surface is essential. You couldn’t play billiards without it. You couldn’t ice-skate or play any kind of bowls. The very concept of fairness has come to be expressed in the idea of having “a level playing field.”

And yet ironically, to bring about smoothness, what you need is roughness and friction. I am thinking of sandpaper, and all the files, rasps, and other tools used for that purpose, not only by carpenters and machinists, but also by dentists, manicurists, and cosmeticians.

When it comes to food, however, the story’s a little different. To some people, the acme of gustatory delight is what is known as a “Smoothie.” They are probably the same folks who prefer their potatoes mashed, rather than baked in the very nutritious jackets, who would choose Cream of Wheat over any kind of “granola,” and want their peanut butter “creamy” rather than “crunchy.” Yet others are not satisfied without food they can “get their teeth into.” And dieticians assure us that what our bodies, and particularly our bowels, have need of, is “roughage.”

“Smooth” is also a word perhaps overused in comparing wines, and was a favorite in describing the flavor of tobacco smoke, when cigarette-makers were still allowed to advertise.

Then there’s the confusing question of HAIR, a biological extrusion common to most mammals. With the human love of smoothness, one might expect baldness to be a preferred condition in our culture – whereas we know very well that the opposite is the case – with one glaring exception. Men’s shave-able faces are considered a prime target for smoothers, even though a new crop of hair begins to sprout soon after performance of the daily ritual of shaving the old one away. So in our society it is de rigueur for men’s faces to be bald, but lamentable for natural baldness to take over the top of the head.

I once summarized this plight in an epigram, which applies to more than just heads and faces:

“Why is so much hair wanted where it isn’t, and not wanted where it is?”

What nobody – particularly their romantic partners – seems to want on men’s faces is scratchy STUBBLE.

But long, soft, clean, well-groomed hair, particularly on cats, and other pet animals, unquestionably falls into the smooth category, which many people enjoy stroking as much as (or even more than) if it were clear, naked skin.

I myself – after going through a period when I thought that shaving was a proof of manhood, and another period when I shaved because I needed employment, and people with beards were considered disreputable – have happily dispensed with razors, for most of my adult life – and have thus, you might say, remained bearded by default. Apart from having to pay a little more at the barbershop for a beard-trim, I have experienced no disadvantage through being bearded.

Of course, I don’t know how many people may have avoided me because they prefer the smooth to the rough.